I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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