I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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