we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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