"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
