I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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