Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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