4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
