Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
