she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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