who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize