He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
