Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
