Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize