Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
