I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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