Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
