3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
