so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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