have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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