your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
MIDGETS
????
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
