i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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