Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
