Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
