I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
