The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
