oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize