I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
