i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
