We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize