She just used a chaser for red wine.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
