Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
