everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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