I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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