i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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