you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
