i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
