Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
