Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
