Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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