what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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