there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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