therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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