Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
