This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
