I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
what the fuck happened to the tacos
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
