ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize