I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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