My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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