do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
