Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize