haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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