New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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