I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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