we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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