If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
