i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
