She's JV to your varsity
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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