then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
