also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
