Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No subtext here. People are naked.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
