Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
