I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
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